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Two Cows / under different political systems

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Two Cows / under different political systems

Easy Guide to Economics by Gordon 'Slackjaw' Brown

two-cows-field-600w-627134045.jpg

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

 

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

 

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

 

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

 

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,

and then throws the milk away...

 

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

 

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

 

VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit

opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity

swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with

a tax exemption for five cows.

 

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman

Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights

to all seven cows back to your listed company.

 

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,

leaving you with nine cows.

 

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

 

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,

because you want three cows.

 

 

 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an

ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon'

and market it worldwide.

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

 

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows.

None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

 

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,

eat once a month, and milk themselves.

 

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both have mad cow disease.

 

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the s**t out of you

and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy........!!!!

 

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

 

A WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

 

(as received by email - thnx)

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I have two cows in the new agrarian age. I am sent two bankers to re-educate.

 

They try to milk the bull for all it is worth. :lol:

 

Spot On! :lol::lol::lol:

 

 

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I have two cows in the new agrarian age. I am sent two bankers to re-educate.

 

They try to milk the bull for all it is worth. :lol:

 

When they find they can get no milk from the Bull,

they look for a Bear, and hang him by his feet upside down.

They are surprised when no milk comes out, and one says:

"Maybe this Bear is not short enough."

 

The other replies:

"This farm is nothing like the real world, is it?"

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When they find they can get no milk from the Bull,

they look for a Bear, and hang him by his feet upside down.

They are surprised when no milk comes out, and one says:

"Maybe this Bear is not short enough."

 

The other replies:

"This farm is nothing like the real world, is it?"

 

Until the bear comes out of its hibernation and rips the throat out of the bankers ;)

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Feel MILKED yet? 

If not, Biden-Harris may get to you

 

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